The Fear of Rejection
That is a word that, if we are to be honest, has derailed more great ideas, relationships, and endeavors than anyone may care to acknowledge. How many times in your life have you stopped short of something that may have been amazing because you were fearful of potential rejection?
I know for me the answer is, “Too many times to count.”
Fear of rejection, at the end of the day, is usually the one thing that lies at the center of all our angst, insecurities, and worries. That “sticking point” preventing us from moving forward in our lives when it comes to getting help for the things that we need.
Often, fear manifests itself in several ways.
- Fear of what someone might think if you are honest about your flaws.
- Fear of what will happen if you get help, and then ultimately fail.
- Fear of transparency and being seen as the real person you actually are.
All of these are legitimate fears that threaten our sense of safety. And the reason these fears keep us stuck is that, at our very core, we desire security more than anything.
We crave safety.
So, when we have to do something that requires a step of faith or a little vulnerability, it scares the crap out of us, and we talk ourselves into just making the “safe play,” which is usually keeping our frailties and weaknesses to ourselves.
Don’t get me wrong.
Fear is a completely legitimate emotion, but it is also one that is very destructive and something you need to get past if you’re ever going to be successful in any venture or journey that you undertake. Especially one that demands your authenticity and a willingness to self-identify as someone who needs help in your struggle for sexual wholeness.
This month we are going to be delving into the topics of self identification and transparency when it comes to our struggles related to porn, masturbation, and the like. We are going to be answering questions such as…
- How do we get past the fear of rejection?
- How do we deal with people who are made uncomfortable by our honesty?
- How do we seek the help we need without fear of being judged and/or “found out.”
In other words…
How do we go about dealing with the realities of our brokenness and pain, and move forward towards health and freedom rather than wasting energy and experiencing fear over all the “what if’s” and the “what could happen’s” of life?
Far too many people who want to find freedom are trapped by the fears of what people might think of them and the rejection they’ll experience if they’re not ultimately successful in their efforts.
Let me challenge you, as I have challenged myself many times, and say that if you are not getting help for the destructive patterns and behaviors in your life because you are afraid of rejection, then take the time to address that fear, stand up to it, and realize that at the end of the day, that fear has no real merit or weight.
Ultimately, the only thing getting in the way of you becoming a better version of you… is you. That sounds like a tongue twister, but it’s true. You are your biggest blockade to success and freedom.
Don’t let fear of rejection get the better of you.
Accept it, embrace it, and then reject it because ultimately fear is not your friend, but your mortal enemy.
And as always, if you have any questions about this or need any advice on your sexual and/or recovery journey, ask us anything you want HERE and we’ll answer your question in an upcoming Office Hours segment