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Posted by on Feb 26, 2016 in Blog | 0 comments

Porn Will Never Love You Back. Here’s Why

pornwillnotlovebackIs porn worth it? It’s a question worth answering, but to do so, let me tell you a story:

One of the most painful life experiences I’ve ever had was the first time I got major rejection from a girl I had a crush on. I was in 8th grade, and I’d kinda crushed on this girl (let’s call her Jane) for about a year at that point. At a school dance that fall, Jane finally said, in so many words, that she wasn’t interested in me; she thought my advances were too much and she was creeped out.

I was a naive 8th-grader who didn’t know when too much was too much. I wasn’t being sexual or stalker-ish—Jane probably just didn’t like me that way. Or at all. I don’t know.

I had unrequited affection for Jane. Movies are made, songs are written, stories are told based on this theme. TV shows play on the back-and-forth romances in which one side is ready but the other isn’t and then it changes. You’re on the edge of your seat, waiting for the inevitable episode when the timing is right, the moment is right and the lovers join together in joy.

That works with real people in real relationships. With porn, the timing is never right, the moment is never right, and there will never be mutual affection.

So is porn worth it?

Not even close.

Porn will never love you back. Even if you give all of yourself to chasing after it, all your time, attention, money, heart, mind, and soul, it will never love you back.

Why? It has no soul. It has no feelings. It doesn’t care about you.

Porn won’t sacrifice for you like you will sacrifice for it.

You may think it makes you feel special, but it’s only for a fleeting moment. That’s why you go back time and time again, why you’re always searching for a new fix, a different image, a new site. Porn won’t hold your hand as you walk down a street. It won’t feed you a spoonful of that ice cream sundae you share.

MY-PILGRIMAGE-INLINE-TEMPHowever, it is there for you, and that’s where we get caught up sometimes. We think, “Well, porn won’t say no to me. I can get it whenever and wherever I want.” And that’s true. But love doesn’t mean just a lack of rejection. It means so much more.

I’m getting married in a few months and, through dating and now engagement, I’m really learning what it’s like to be loved, what it’s like to have someone give all of themselves for your best. I experience one of the things that my fiancée does best when we’re on the phone.

She lives about an hour away, so we have to talk on the phone during the week. Sometimes I’ll call her in the middle of something she’s doing. If it’s vitally important that she does what she’s doing at the moment—something for work, eating dinner, etc.—then I’ll wait for her. But if it’s not vital, she’ll put everything down and give her full attention to me.

That’s when I see her love me. I’m seeing her set things aside to do good for me.

There’s a two-way commitment that you see in a relationship that you don’t see with porn. Compare your relationship with porn to a relationship with Jesus. Jesus died for you. He gave Himself for you. He continually does what’s best for you.

So next time you’re about to pull up your favorite porn site, think about this: that thing you’re about to look at? It doesn’t love you. It never will.

So is porn worth it?

I know the struggle. I’ve asked myself the question, and, unfortunately, I’ve answered in the affirmative. I’ve said, “Yeah, pursuing this thing that won’t love me back is worth it.” And afterwards, I’ve always wanted to change my answer.

So let’s fight, together, side-by-side, and choose the way of love, true love. Because the road that leads to porn is devoid of it.


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