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Posted by on May 18, 2020 in Blog | 0 comments

How I Overcame Childhood Trauma

Abuse: treat a person with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.

Unfortunately, childhood abuse is common, and if you have experienced it, whether physical, verbal, or sexual, I want to say that I am sorry for what happened to you. No excuse in the world can excuse what that person did to you, but I want you to know that there is still hope for you. You do not have to be a product of what you went through. You can and will overcome the emotional trauma that you experienced, and I want to help you get through it.

I have experienced much abuse in my lifetime, mostly verbal and some physical. Abuse, in any form, is detrimental to one’s well-being. Abuse will make one feel inferior, insecure, unworthy, and unlovable. This is a classic attack from the enemy, to make a child of God feel like they don’t belong. The enemy wants you to question who you are so that you can’t act out who you indeed are. If you don’t know that you’re worthy, then you will act unworthy. If you don’t see that you are entirely accepted, then you will act rejected. So, the enemy will put people in your life, even as a child, to mistreat you so that you will end up lost and confused. He does this because he doesn’t want you to live out God’s call for your life, so as a child, he begins fighting for your soul.

I thank God for what I went through

I hated my life when I was a child, but now, I thank God for my childhood. As horrific as it was for me at times, Genesis 50:20 says, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for my good. He brought me to this position so that I could save the lives of many people.” My pain gave me purpose. I have a massive heart for people because I know what it’s like to be in a low place in life. I know what it is like to be mistreated, so I will never mistreat others. The enemy intended to harm me with the abuse he sent my way, but God intended it for my good to save the lives of many.
How did I get to this place in life? I had to forgive every person who abused me in life. This isn’t an easy thing to do, but with God, it is possible. To be set free, you must forgive. To fully forgive, you must view your abuser with merciful eyes. As the old saying goes, “Hurting people will hurt people.” If that person hurt you, then ask yourself, “Who hurt them? What abuse have they gone through in life?” When we feel sorry for those who hurt us, it makes it easier to forgive them. If they truly knew better, they would have done better.

My abuse caused me to make inappropriate decisions.

I ended up on drugs, in the porn industry, and I became verbally abusive to people in my life. The abuse you’ve endured has probably had a similar impact on you. You might have a lot of anger, maybe porn has become an escape to you, or perhaps you battle with insecurities because the person who abused you robbed you of all confidence.

I bet the same is true for those who have abused you. The abuse they might have endured caused them to harm those around them, and sadly you got caught in the crossfire.

Today, let’s choose to give them grace. Let’s look at them with eyes of mercy. Let’s pray for them. Unforgiveness is too great of a burden for you to carry. Give your cares to God; He cares for you.

Let’s pray together

“God, I trust you. I believe that you are making all things work together for good. I don’t want to hinder my life any longer by holding onto unforgiveness. So right now, I choose to forgive every person that has hurt me. I will no longer allow my past to dictate my future, and I will not transfer my hurt onto others. Father, heal my heart and give me the strength to help those in need. Jesus, you are my Lord and my Savior; lead my life, and please fight for those who have hurt me so that they can find you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Forgiveness can be a process.

I encourage you to process with a trusted friend or counselor. When you give forgiveness, God gives you freedom. If you’ve been battling with porn, forgiving is one massive step in the direction towards healing.

XXXchurch has workshops to help you find freedom from porn and to better your marriage. Check them out at X3workshops.com and enter code: COVID19 at checkout for 50% off.

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Posted by on May 11, 2020 in Blog | 0 comments

Victory Over Porn

Are you struggling with a recent loss due to COVID-19? I imagine you have lost something in one way or another, and I know it can be a tough pill to swallow. 

A loss often leads to grief. When something completely overturns our expectations and changes everyday living, it can cause us to live in fear and scarcity. I know for myself, I rely on an income to get me by because I have bills to pay. I don’t think you are any different. If you lost your job and are experiencing repercussions of that, I want to encourage you to keep your mind and heart above the darkness. In times likes these, we get to choose to become a victim or a victor, and we get to decide whether we will fall into addictions or if we will step into opportunities. 

 

Why is it so hard to be a victor?

In times like these, it can be so hard to think like a victor and step into opportunities, I know firsthand. The challenge often comes from a mindset of “Why me?”,’ “that’s not fair,” and so on… Sure, we all believe we deserve a fair outcome, but really, life is not a respecter of people, and with this, we can get dealt a hand that we may not like. This can lead someone into feeling emotions such as grief, depression, rage, fear, boredom, loneliness, anxiety, and resentment. When emotions such as these are felt, its because our thoughts are revolved around being the victim. When life is hard, and we react negatively as a victim, it becomes nearly impossible to think positively, to act kindly, and to be the person you know you want to be. This becomes a recipe in one’s life, and it’s the unfailing recipe that leads to addictions.

Touching on pornography for a second, we see that most addicts to porn are stuck in a cycle of playing victim, they resent a particular circumstance, begin hating others and hating themselves, and are stuck feeling like they deserve something. Hence, they watch porn and masturbate to “get” what they thought they “needed.”

 

What is a victor?

A victor is someone who chooses to “see the glass half full,” or one who decides to see the opportunity rather than the present circumstance. This is nothing more than a mindset, and it’s when we choose to think differently about our conditions will we be able to adopt this “victor” life stance.

What if I am addicted to porn right now? Well, a victor is someone who chooses to see that this addiction is doing more damage than they had initially anticipated. When porn becomes a daily/weekly thing, it will, of course, harm you, but it will also begin to hurt those around you. A victor decides to get out of denial, see the issue for what it truly is, and make the decision to say NO MORE. Fighting the battle is the beginning to winning the fight, and in my eyes, the victor is not just the one who has the victory, in the end, it’s also the one who makes the right choice, to start the journey to success today!

 

5 tips you can do right now to become a victor:

  • Choose to be a victor, not a victim

As you have already read, some changes are needed to go from victim to victor. It is a mentality switch, and it begins with you making the decision. Yes, you may think, “I have made this decision before, but it didn’t work for me” Well, most people make decisions, but have no plan in place to follow through with. What I am recommending you to do is:

– Make the decision

– Create a game-plan 

– Refocus your thoughts

– Work the game-plan

 

  • Focus on what you can do

It’s incredible how so many people go through life without purpose, without joy, and without an idea of why they do what they do. Well, if you have some extra time right now, like most of do, why don’t you begin to ask some of the BIG questions in life?

“What do I enjoy doing so much that I could help other people by doing it?”

“What am I gifted in that I could turn into a vocation?”

“What can I do today that if I do it, it will help me take the next step tomorrow?”

Questions like these are SO helpful! In this season right now, questions like these may be the key to you finding out how you can make some money and support yourself. I know that would be a game-changer for most of you! This is also a fantastic time to start learning something new, which could be a part of you becoming an expert in the field of your passion. Take the time to get excited about learning! To learn something of purpose is one of the most fulfilling things on this earth.

A quick story to share what happened with me: When I started Secret Habit, I knew I wanted to help people, I knew I had a story of freedom from porn, and I knew that not many people were helping in the area of porn addiction. It would NEVER have been my first choice of “what I wanted to do,” but what I realized quickly is that when I worked on Secret Habit, I was more fulfilled than any other time… I challenge you, in this season of uncertainty, to step into something that you were made to do!

 

  • Be a light in the darkness

You have something to share; everyone does. I never thought that I did while growing up, but, if you are reading this blog, you believe I do. What if you wrote a blog, did a live stream, wrote a song, played an instrument, started a Facebook group? There are so many ways you can be a light in this time where people are stuck at home, afraid, and unsure of what to do. It’s an excellent time to ask the questions that need to be asked and unleash the passion and gifts inside of you. 

When you begin to work on purpose, it’s incredible how you will almost automatically become a victor! When someone has a purpose in life, they will become free from the shackles in their life, and this is how people quit things such as pornography. If something such as a purpose begins to serve you and fill that hole in your heart, the things that you previously used to numb the hole become unnecessary, and you outgrow the need for them.

 

  • Be aware of triggers

When we are in a place of emotional strain, we will begin to be triggered by circumstances going on in our lives. Losing your job is only a circumstance, but what it does to you may be destructive. Be aware of what is going on inside your mind before it traps you in the cycle of negativity, leading to falling into the victim role. It would be wise to take some time to write the triggers that send you into an emotional tailspin. Sure, some of them may be tough circumstances that seem justifiable, and some past trauma may be getting brought back up, but some may only be revealing that you have an unhealthy outlook on life. It’s so important to do this so you can live proactively, rather than living in reaction. 

To identify a trigger, you may need to look back at the last couple of days and think to yourself, “What caused me to feel rage?”; “What was I feeling the last time I relapsed?”; “Who in my life makes me feel stressed?”, etc. There are so many revealing questions you can ask, so begin asking. You will be surprised at how much gets revealed in such a short period.

 

  • Stay Connected

You are likely feeling isolated, regardless if you have COVID-19 or not, being forced into isolation is a challenge. This season can lead to a lack of connection, but sadly, if we’re not proactive, it may lead to a new habit of being disconnected.… Humans are created for relationships, and without them, our hearts grow weary. Ask yourself, “What are some things I can do today to start getting connected?” 

Heres a few examples that come to mind:

– Plan a video call with a friend

– Join or start a Reddit, Facebook, or online forum group

– Get some friends to play an online video game

– Find a language app and trade your English expertise for someone else’s first language expertise

– Learn some new games, or read a book as a group with those who you live with

 

To conclude:

As you may see, our take on helping someone overcome pornography addiction is much more about the internal than the external. We are all about assisting people in changing their lifestyles and seeking what is right, rather than continuously avoiding what is wrong. If you knew how amazing life was without porn, then you would do whatever it took to get free from it. 

 

RESOURCES for you in this time:

 

“If you knew how amazing life was without porn, then you would do whatever it takes to get free from it!”

 

– Shawn Bonneteau
SecretHabit.ca

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Posted by on May 4, 2020 in Blog | 0 comments

Does Marriage Make It Easier to Quit Watching Porn?

Have you ever hoped marriage would be the solution to your sexual problems?

Today, you will learn the surprising truth of what it’s like to get married if you’ve ever struggled with pornography…hint: it’s not what you think.

Marriage does not necessarily make it easier to get free from porn. After I got married, I continued to struggle with pornographic fantasies—even on my wedding night. Those of you who are married know what I’m talking about.

For those of you who are not married, I want to warn you and prepare you so that if and when you get married, you’ll be ready. And in the meantime, you can appreciate the gift of your singleness even more.

Here are three reasons why marriage does not make it easier to quit porn:

#1. Your wife is not a sexual object.

Sometimes people think, “When I get married, all my sexual desires and urges will finally have a God-approved place to go, in bed with my wife.” The problem is you’re still objectifying her. You’re bringing a pornographic style of relating to your marriage.

In other words, you’re still making sex all about you. It’s completely self-centered. You’re not focused on your partner. You’re thinking about yourself: “What do I want? When do I want it? How do I want it?” In porn, you get to be in control of all those things.

In a real relationship, if you want to have a fantastic sex life, you have to think about the other person: “How can I love her? How can I serve her? What does she need right now?” You need to exhibit Christ-like character in your sexuality: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

When you are filled with the Spirit, focusing on the other person, and you’re both loving each other (not scheming about how you can get what you want and release your sexual urges), it unlocks a new level of intimacy, because that’s how God designed it.

God did not design your wife to be a sex doll for you.

So please know that when you get married, it’s not like you can have whatever you want all the time sexually. Also, you’ll go through seasons like having kids when there will be months without sexual intimacy. You won’t have an outlet for orgasm, and the foundation of your freedom from porn will be tested.

Whether you’re married or not, you still need to learn that so that when those dry seasons come, you’re prepared because you know how to meet those sexual longings and urges in a healthy and holy way.

Your wife is not a sexual object. I don’t know where we got this idea that “If she’s my wife, then it’s not lust.” It’s still lusting if it’s self-centered if it’s objectifying if it’s dishonoring. God designed sex to be an act of mutual participation, connection, and intimacy, not a replacement for porn.

#2. You will be hurt by each other.

Ultimately porn is a way that we cope with pain and stress. And if you think marriage will take away that pain and stress, think again. You will be hurt by each other, and when that happens, you will want to return to porn for the numbing and escape that it was providing for you.

Just like pain is a part of singleness, pain is a part of marriage. Going through conflict is part of marriage. Trust me; there will be times when you feel the same old urge to cope with life through pornography and masturbation…even when you’re married.

There’s one more reason why marriage does not make it easier to quit porn. In fact, it makes it three times harder:

#3. Marriage requires triple recovery.

If you’re secretly using porn and your wife discovers it, three healings need to take place, not just one.

The first one is your healing as an individual. You need to get free from pornography.

The second one is your wife’s healing as an individual. Because of your secret sexual activity, she’s going through something called betrayal trauma. So she needs help.

The third one is your relationship. The relationship itself needs to heal. Trust has been broken. It takes years of work with trained professionals to rebuild trust in a marriage.

So why does this matter?

First of all, if you’re not married, now is the best time to get free from porn. Right now, you only have to focus on your healing—not three cures at once.

If you wait until after the wedding, you will cause incredible amounts of damage to yourself, your spouse, and your future family. Trust me: this becomes very expensive very quickly, and the marriage doesn’t always survive.

Why not quit porn now and save your marriage before it starts? That’s what my ministry, Husband Material is all about. We offer content, community, and coaching to help men outgrow porn.

If you are married, there are some fantastic resources out there for you too.

Check out Best Sex Life now and Recover in X3workshops.

Ultimately no matter what stage of life you’re in, now is always the best time to quit porn —for your faith, your family, and your future!

 

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Posted by on Apr 27, 2020 in Blog | 0 comments

Are You Doing Accountability The Wrong Way?

Has someone talked to you about the importance of community recently?

How about the value of vulnerability?

I bet you’ve seen content on both subjects at least once in the last six months.

Interestingly enough – science has shown the percentage of people in this world without ANY confidants (not even one) has doubled in the last 20 years. Somehow, loneliness is on the rise. 

I talk to men regularly who struggle with pornography.

Each of their stories is unique, but one thing remains the same. 

The man has felt or currently feels lonely without fail. 

Then I ask… what have you done about it?

The answer usually includes one of the following:

-They told a trusted leader and never followed up with them

-No one in their friend circle can be trusted with the details of their struggle

-Tried an accountability partner system and it’s not working

All of these experiences can cause a lot of frustration, but I have a particular bone to pick about the accountability partner system that is so commonly preached.

Almost every guy I talk to that is looking to get free of porn has tried a form of accountability at some point.

Here are some examples:

  • A client of mine attended a workshop on freedom from lust and sexual sin. In the end, he was matched up with a stranger to be his accountability partner. They texted back and forth for about three weeks and haven’t communicated since.
  • A university student asked a respected leader in his community to be his accountability partner. The arrangement? He would text him after he watched porn and ask for prayer. The leader would write back, “praying for you!” This lasted for about three months. 
  • A friend created a penalty system. Every time he looked at porn, he had to give a $500 donation to a charitable organization! 

The upsetting part is that accountability is a good thing! When it’s done properly, it can be so helpful. But most of the systems out there are so lackluster that they usually make the problem much worse. 

Here are a few common mistakes that I see a lot of men making when it comes to accountability.

MISTAKE 1: Lack of Relational Equity

I’d love to tell you that you can find a guy who is passionate about you getting free, and he will be the perfect person to hold you accountable. Unfortunately, this never works.

The most effective accountability partners are those with whom you have a trust established—long time friends, siblings, leaders, mentors, pastors, etc. You’re looking for people that you feel safe with, understand how to empathize, and are willing to ask hard questions. 

A good accountability partner should encourage & comfort you while also pushing you to be your absolute best. And this is most accomplished in the confines of a healthy, pre-existing relationship. 

It’s also crucial that this person is free of porn, or very close to. They shouldn’t be watching porn more than once a month. Don’t make the mistake of picking someone who is struggling just as much as you are. The blind leading the blind has never been an effective strategy. 

One quick side note, this is not to discourage groups/communities of people that are collectively pursuing freedom. These communities are a great complement to a reliable accountability partner. 

MISTAKE 2: Reactive Approach

This one sounds so obvious, but it is most commonly overlooked. Being reactionary in general, is futile. I don’t know very many times that I’ve been thankful for a reactionary decision. 

The accountability examples listed above are all reactionary. They are the aftermath. Asking for prayer after a slip. 

Confessing after a lapse.

Accountability, in its purest form, is preventative. If you reach out to your accountability partner after you’ve looked at porn, it’s TOO LATE. You have a confessional partner, not an accountability partner.

Your accountability partner is supposed to help you avoid looking at porn. How can they do that if they only hear from you after a mistake?

I don’t know anyone who got free because their accountability continually prayed for them every time after they slipped. 

The aim is to be proactive, which means that you are nipping things in the bud (temptations, urges, thoughts, emotions, etc.) before they develop into a decision to watch porn. You’ll see what I mean in the next point. 

MISTAKE 3: Only Focus on Behavior

Let me illustrate this with a story. 

When my wife and I were dating, I was having a particularly difficult season. I changed jobs, moved cities, started at a new church, and was making friends all over again. It was stressful for me, and I was weak and vulnerable at times. 

On one particular day, I felt tempted to watch porn for almost the entire day. The day was capped off with our weekly date night… how fun.

There are two things you should know about this point in time. 

One, I had been free from porn for about two years. 

Two, my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I were working hard to protect our physical boundaries at this stage of our relationship. 

Everything was tested. 

My plan was to white-knuckle my way through the evening. I’d muster up enough strength to resist the temptation to cross our boundaries and do everything I could to redirect my thought life away from the attractions.

Not precisely a bulletproof plan, but a plan nonetheless.

We pulled into the driveway to begin the evening, and all of a sudden, it clicked. 

I had a better option.

I could talk to her about it!

Imagine that. 

So I opened up. I told her that I was feeling the effects of the move. Specifically, I was feeling lonely, and as a result, I felt tempted to watch porn most of the day. I then explained that I was nervous we were going to cross our boundaries, and I didn’t know what to do.

The look on her face said it all: She was thrilled.

The transparency established trust; the communication gave her a new level of understanding, and the choice to be accountable proactively dissipated the temptations almost immediately. 

We had a great date night, and our boundaries were easily kept intact.

I learned something that night.

I’d rather confess a temptation than confess a mistake.

Real accountability focuses on the contributing factors to the behavior, not the behavior itself.

I’ve spoken with a lot of guys lately who are finding it difficult to abstain from porn during the lockdown: more device time, more temptation, and much less accountability. 

I get it, these are trying times, and many of the added stressors are driving men to watch porn. 

If you’re in that camp, I want to encourage you to find someone you can talk to TODAY. Don’t wait until the lockdown lifts. Do it now, get that outlet ASAP.

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Posted by on Apr 20, 2020 in Blog | 0 comments

What Are You Running From?

Everybody Has Issues

Some people were taught how to deal with them healthily by addressing them, processing them, and learning from them. However, the vast majority were not taught those valuable lessons. Rather than healing from the heartbreak, you might have been taught to avoid it. Instead of managing your stress, you might run from it.

We all go through things in life, but until we learn to process life’s difficulties, we will find ourselves running from them. I hate stress! I always have and always will. I used to turn to drugs and alcohol to numb out. I didn’t know why I always wanted to drink an entire bottle of wine until I could forget about whatever it was that was stressing me out until I had a conversation with God. He showed me that there was a place of pain in me that I needed to heal. I ran from stress because, as a child, our household was very stressful. There was a lot of anger, yelling, and cursing. There was no grace, no love, and no mercy.

I looked forward to going to school each day because I hated being home. Our home was a place of uncertainty. When things were calm, I anxiously awaited the next outburst. I was never at peace when I was at home. So, as an adult, when moments of high-stress came into my life, I wanted to run from them. God forbid me to feel that stress that once tormented me as a child. However, God does not forbid moments of stress, but He does promise us rest if we seek Him. Immense pressure was a trigger that made me run to drugs and alcohol to avoid the feeling of it.

Your Painful Moments Have Purpose

God began to show me that in those moments of stress, He was preparing me for something much more significant, and instead of running from it, I needed to run to Him. He is the giver of peace; He is the healer. He is our great-counselor. Drugs and alcohol could offer me nothing in comparison to what God could give me. Drugs and alcohol can provide me temporary relief as they mask the pain I am running from, whereas God can heal the pain so that I never have to run from it again.

 

What Are You Running From?

My question for you is, what are you running from? When you spend hours watching pornography to numb out, why do you do that? Just as God spoke to me and reminded me that the things I once ran to could merely mask my pain, but He could heal me of it; I believe He wants you to walk with that same revelation. Porn is a mask, but God is your healer.

Maybe the uncertainties of COVID19 have led you back to porn, or perhaps your marriage isn’t thriving, so you’ve turned to porn to avoid the issues rather than face them head-on. I don’t know what’s been going on in your life that has cut you so deeply that you’ve felt the need to escape, but God does, and He wants to heal you and free you. Doesn’t that sound great?!

I want to encourage you to grow in God. He cares about the condition of your heart because it determines the course of your life. He wants to restore your family, bring peace to your soul, comfort you in your brokenness, and deliver you from both addictions and bad habits.

Every day, I seek God through worship, prayer, and then I read the Bible. Because of COVID19, I have had extra time to read a few self-improvement books as well. My soul is prospering! Not because I numb out, but because I am no longer afraid to face my problems and fears. I don’t let them consume me; I don’t run from them; I seek God and wise counsel. Both of which are important. You need God, and you need wise counsel. Who is on your team?

XXXchurch Can Help!

If you’re looking for a community, check out Small Groups Online, and if you need to be more transparent with your accountability, download X3watch. This accountability software will send your online activity reports to the person/s of your choice. Chances are you’re spending more time at home than usual, do something productive for YOU! Sign up for one of our workshops, which are currently 50% off if you enter code: COVID19 at checkout.

Also, don’t hesitate to send us an email! We love you, and we are here for you! Freedom belongs to you, and we believe that’s what XXXchurch believes you’re going to find.

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Posted by on Apr 13, 2020 in Blog | 0 comments

3 Ways COVID Cures Porn Addiction

COVID is changing everything. We don’t know how exactly, but it’s clear that things will never be the same. I have to be honest; the scale of this situation feels similar to September 11, 2001. This is a global situation that will have long-term global ramifications.

I am ever the opportunist. I realize that there is a lot of panic and fear, and rightfully so. But those kinds of reactions, to me, are indicators that prime opportunity is lurking. As Winston Churchill famously said, “Don’t waste a good crisis.”

As I’ve given this more thought, I’ve realized that COVID is a great chance to get free of pornography, and probably not for the reasons you think. 

Everyone is tabling the argument that you have more time now, so you should do the things that you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t because you were too busy.

I’m all for that. But I don’t find that angle very compelling. 

Others are saying that in the face of so many people losing their health, and even their lives, we should all remember how precious life is, and not take anything for granted.

Again, a great point, but I don’t think that’s going to free anyone of porn addiction.

However, I do believe that there are three major lessons we can take from the COVID-19 outbreak to assist in porn recovery. In the hundreds of men I have worked with over the years, these lessons are woven in every single success story I’ve witnessed.

Read through this carefully, and think about how you could apply each lesson to your own life.

Lesson 1: Your Life Impacts The World

It sounds like a bit of an overstatement, but let’s think about it. 

In November 2019, someone came into contact with a bat in a market in China. One person. Not a mob of people, not even a family. One single human being. That individual contracted a virus and began spreading it, unbeknownst to him at the time. Fast forward just six months later, and the entire world shut down as a result. 

Not just the man’s city. Not even just his country. The whole world. From the west to the far east. Businesses. Stock markets. Schools. Churches. Charities. Community centers. Restaurants. 

Did you catch that? The entire globe has shut down because of one person! 

Let’s take this a step further. 

Imagine if only half of the world agreed to socially distance, isolate, and increase sanitization. The other half continued to live at their normal pace, do their normal activities, and disregard what was happening elsewhere.

“Well, too bad for them!” you might think.

No, too bad for everyone. 

The negligent half of the world would nullify the efforts of the rest of the world. It’s not enough for just a few countries to implement the added regulations. The entire human race has to do their part so that collectively, we can shut this thing down. One bad apple spoils the bunch.

How you live your life affects the rest of the world right now, and that’s just to flatten the curve.

Think about how this applies to a porn recovery context.
The biggest lie you could believe about your struggle with porn is that it only affects you. 

There are the pornstars on the screen.
The website owners who get paid for clicks and traffic.
Your present loved ones who want to experience real intimacy with you.
Your future loved ones.
Your (future) family.
The people who look up to you.
The people who follow you.
Your colleagues/coworkers.
Every single person you know who is of the gender that you’re attracted to.

Need I list more?

These people are all impacted in some shape or form every single time you watch pornography. 

The way you live your life matters. Not just for your own sake, but for the rest of the world. We are all in this thing called life together. Live it as the people of this world depend on it. In many ways, they do.

Lesson 2: Crisis Reveals Character

It is pretty to easy to be a good person when you’re on top of the world. When things are going your way, and God’s favor is clearly upon you, how can you do any wrong? 

The real question is, what kind of person are you amidst a crisis?

How someone handles seasons of blessing and reward indicates a lot about their character and who they are as a person. But it’s only a partial picture. The other part comes into play in the face of difficulty.

A crisis like this global pandemic has a unique way of surfacing our insecurities, fears & areas of mistrust. I’ve experienced some of this myself in this season, and I’ve graciously accepted the challenge to deal with them (I’m an opportunist, remember?). 

It is so easy to make excuses right now. People are using COVID to justify more screen time, disconnecting from people, a lack of motivation, falling out of routine, etc.

COVID is an excellent explanation. It is not an excuse. 

The call to live a life of godly character, excellence, and joy is still active. God has not compromised in His standards during this global pandemic, and neither should we. It is possible that in this season, parts of you are surfacing that you’re not comfortable with. Maybe it’s a temper, or a need to be busy, or feeling worthless without a job. 

Just hear me now: It’s never been a better time to refine your character. Don’t let COVID be an excuse for you. Let it be the catalyst that causes you to dig your heels in, face your shortcomings head-on, and become a better person. 

Lesson 3: Thanksgiving Is A Secret Weapon

The Bible clearly says on multiple occasions that we are to give thanks in ALL things. “All” includes global pandemics. 

Thanksgiving is powerful because it shifts our focus away from what we lack towards what we have. It is hard to be anxious and thankful at the same time. You can be one or the other, but not both. 

Thanksgiving works both as an antidote to anxiety & fear, but also as a preventative measure. 

That means that if you are experiencing anxiety & fear right now, it is an excellent time to give thanks.

It also means that if you are not experiencing anxiety & fear right now, it is an excellent time to give thanks.

Thanksgiving is commonly associated with peace in the Bible (see Colossians 3:15 and Philippians 4:6), and for a good reason. Peace is inevitable when we are thankful. The more we focus on what we have, the more confident we become in God’s faithfulness & His ability to provide. 

In this season, His provision may be as basic as putting food on the table. 

It could be giving you the grace to endure having the kids at home 24/7. 

It could be finding meaningful opportunities to occupy your time.

And dare I say it could be getting free of pornography for good. 

Thanksgiving doesn’t require capital, copious amounts of time, or much energy. It just needs a little intentionality, and it could be the thing that turns things around once and for all. 

I don’t know about you, but I’m excited to learn, grow, and become more of the man God created me to be. There is no reason why you can’t do the same. 

I want to encourage you to do all you can to make the most of this season. Be creative. Think outside the box. And do not let your emotions make decisions for you. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I urge you to take advantage of right now.

Let’s not waste a good crisis.

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