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Posted by on Aug 2, 2021 in Blog | 0 comments

Self Prophetic Male Gender Roles

It’s a brand-new month, and so during August we are shifting gears and talking about how culture (particularly church culture) depicts a man’s sexual nature. 

Are men really the way we tend to depict them sexually speaking?

In other words…

  • Do men only (or constantly) think about sex?
  • Are men always wanting sex and women not so much?
  • Do all men lust and is that just part of their jacked up sexual mindset?
  • Is porn primarily a man’s issue?
  • Are men the ones that tend to cheat the most?
  • Do women need to have sex with their men to keep them from straying?

And so on.

I know growing up I heard this type of messaging in one form or another often. For example, here are just a few of the common myths floating around out there that you may have run into (and the truth to those myths).

Myth 1: Men think about sex every 7 seconds… and women, not so much. 🤷‍♂️

Fact: In 2011 Ohio State University conducted a study to track of how often a sample of 283 college students thought about sex, food, and sleep throughout a week. On average, men reported thinking about sex 19 times a day as opposed to women who reported a frequency of 10 times a day.¹

Worth noting, another similar study indicated numbers of 34 times a day for men and 19 for women. Regardless, both studies fell well short of the once every 7-second rule and indicated that the gap in preoccupation with sex between men and women is far narrower than one might assume.

Myth 2: Men Have More Sex Partners Than Women

Fact: In 2003 Alexander and Fisher conducted a study asking men and women the number of sexual partners they had while attached to what participants were told was a lie detector. As it turned out, women reported slightly more sexual partners than men. 

Conclusion? This sexual stereotype is probably false.²

Myth 3: Men Are More Likely Than Women to Be Unfaithful

Fact: Ok, so on this one studies have shown that men hold a slight edge here. But it’s not the chasmic sized gap one might preconceive. In fact those same studies indicated that men and women under 40 reported similar rates of infidelity and also showed that the gender difference in engaging in extramarital sex is narrowing.³

Understand that while a bunch of “harmless myths” about men and sex may not seem like a big deal, they create an unspoken expectation for behavior that men then carry with them throughout their life. 

In other words, they become a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Think about it.

If as a man you find yourself living in a sex saturated culture, and you grew up believing that sex is not only something you always want, but also always need, the prospects for maintaining a life of sexual integrity don’t look so hot.

It’s as if the cards are stacked against you and everyone already assumes you’re going to lose the hand anyway (including yourself).

The recipe for sexual brokenness is all around you.

  • Advertisers and entertainment sell you sex.
  • Pornography seeks to trap you with the lure of sex around every corner.
  • Culture tells you that as a man you should always want sex.
  • And then everyone paints you as the person who will eventually succumb to sex in the end if given the opportunity anyway (including the church).

What chance does a man have if he grows up believing he’s some sort of sexual beast that can’t control himself while everyone echoes the same sentiment? 

Very little.

After all, one of the keys to living a life of sexual integrity is the awareness that you can indeed do so in the first place. That you have choice in the matter and your fate isn’t sealed. 

But so many guys (and especially Christian guys) lack this basic understanding.

And that’s unfortunate.

But what’s even more unfortunate is that the church tends to perpetuate these unhealthy mindsets. 

In fact just this week I saw this Reel on Instagram.

reel

I watched the clip, anxious to see what they said. 

I won’t type it all out (you can watch it if you want here), but the basic two points were this.

Women – you don’t need to settle for men who look at porn or accept the cultural message that all guys look at porn, and it’s ok.

Men – porn is a poison and an addiction, so you need to stop it.

Now, while I don’t disagree with either of these sentiments at all… there is an issue here with stereotyping and the perpetuation of the idea that men are the only ones who really need help controlling their sexual urges.

  • Why do only women not have to settle for partners who look at porn?
  • Why do only women not have to accept the cultural lie that porn is ok?
  • Why do only men need to stop their addiction (and btw, how do you do that anyway 🤔)?

The speakers here didn’t say this of course, and I’m not saying they meant to imply that only men deal with porn. But, the message still comes across that way and feeds into a very problematic gender role that much of the church buys into (men and women included).

The purpose of this post (and the ones to follow) is not, and will not be to simply bash how culture and the church views male sexuality stereotypes. 

Rather, it is our intention to challenge some misconceptions out there regarding men and sexuality to provide hope for both men and women that we all are creatures made in God’s image with full authority over our sexual choices. 

Men are not helpless, sexually voracious animals.

Women are not the gatekeepers standing in the way of sexual fulfillment.

Rather, we are both sexual beings that were created to enjoy and pursue sex in healthy ways. It’s just in our world, sometimes the path to doing this can get a bit messy, and so occasionally we all need a little help along the way.

And as always, if you have any questions about this or need any advice on your sexual and/or recovery journey, ask us anything you want HERE and we’ll answer your question in an upcoming Office Hours segment.

 


¹ Zane, Z., & Razor, C. (2021, June 9). Here’s How Often Men and Women Really Think About Sex. Men’s Health. https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a28483383/how-often-think-about-sex

² Fugere, M. (2017, February 2). 4 Myths About Men and Sex. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201702/4-myths-about-men-and-sex

³ Fugere, M. (2017, February 2). 4 Myths About Men and Sex. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201702/4-myths-about-men-and-sex

 

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Posted by on Jul 30, 2021 in Blog | 0 comments

Modest was Never Hottest

“Modest is hottest!” Thanks to youth pastors all across America and now Matthew West, this expression is likely familiar to your ears. But as author Alan Noble sarcastically points out, the statement is nonsensical.

If modest were actually hottest then youth pastors and fathers with record deals would be encouraging their students and children to dress immodestly, so as to avoid being a “stumbling block.” I say “students” and “children,” but we all know that the burden of modesty largely, if not entirely, falls on the appropriately covered shoulders of young ladies and women.

There’s a reason why the Norwegian women’s beach handball team is being fined for wearing shorts as opposed to bikini bottoms despite the men’s team being permitted to wear tank tops that cover the midriff and shorts that extend far closer to the knee.

Those in the church and in our broader culture know that modest is not hottest.

Now, that’s not to say there aren’t individuals and even large swaths of people who respect and appreciate modesty in wise and healthy ways. As our culture continues to dehumanize and sexualize the human body, and especially the female figure, there is wisdom in modesty.

Take Billie Ellish for example. Rising to fame at the age of 14, alongside her musical talent she became known for wearing loose-fitting clothes.

She has done several interviews explaining that this was a conscious decision to avoid having her body sexualized by the masses. A wise choice. But we see even in her decision that though it is wise, she does not pretend to believe that “modest is hottest.”

In an interview with Elle, Billie said, “What if I want to make a video where I want to look desirable? I know it would be a huge thing. I know people will say, ‘I’ve lost all respect for her.’” Did you catch that? “…where I want to look desirable.”

It is only possible to be desired by throwing modesty to the curb.

This is, unfortunately, the message our young men and women receive. At best, they are taught the wisdom of minimizing the chances that their body is sexualized. But as Ellish points out, if you want to be considered desirable you’ll have to let go of that at some point.

The dehumanization of other people’s bodies isn’t going away anytime soon. From the ubiquity of hardcore pornography to the use of partially and strategically clad bodies to sell anything from spray deodorant to chewing gum, it’s clear that sexualization is here to stay.

And as is far too often the case, whatever is flooding the American culture is seeping into the American Church.

Christians are great at taking something the world is doing and changing it ever so slightly to make it “Christian.” We do this with our clothing, but we also do this with our beliefs and philosophies.

We did this in the purity movement and what author Katelyn Beaty calls “the sexual prosperity gospel.” The world tells us that sex is consensual play between two adults that brings physical gratification and value to our lives. Christians took that definition and added “in marriage” and promised a generation of youth group goers that God would bring sexual prosperity to those who waited until marriage.

This seeping of American sexualization into the American Church has happened in more subtle ways as well.

We probably all have anecdotal stories on how our churches value the physically attractive. We make sure they get the stage time, the leading vocals, and are around when we shoot our promo videos.

Take a look around at the latest batch of young “celebrity” pastors. Because they are almost all men and the male body isn’t sexualized in the same way, we don’t see them preaching in speedos (and all God’s people said, “Amen!”).

But clearly, there is some level of “sexy” or “attractive” that they are supposed to attain. That ranges from physical fitness and bicep size to wearing the latest trends and having manicured facial hair. 

In perhaps an ironic twist, it may be these preachers in sneakers, not the young ladies and women they pastor, who are rejecting biblical modesty.

Paul instructs Timothy to tell the women in Ephesus “to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God” (1 Timothy 2:9-10 ESV).

Somehow we’ve taken this and paired it with Paul’s unrelated word to Rome on creating stumbling blocks and weaponized it to tell women that they can’t wear a two-piece bathing suit, have spaghetti straps, or kneel when they pray because their back may be exposed causing a young man to lust after her.

And we’ve done this completely ignoring that Paul’s address on modesty is not primarily, if at all, about the physical form. Instead, Paul is discouraging displays of wealth.

At best many Christian leaders have ignored addressing important issues of sex, sexuality, and the pervasive sexualization in our culture. At worst our Christian leaders have passed the buck and burdened our women with shouldering all the responsibility of avoiding sexual sin.

Just as ignoring a physical ailment can lead to the problem worsening and new problems arising, the mishandling of sexual modesty has given rise to the abuse of modesty as Paul addressed it in 1 Timothy. Modest is not hottest.

This is clear in how our world objectifies the human body and it’s clear by how our most influential pastors adorn themselves on the stage.

But “hottest” was never supposed to be our goal, faithfulness was.

Instead of pithy, though nonsensical, sayings or slight adaptations to the world’s narratives on sex and sexuality, it’s time for Christian parents and church leaders to lead. It’s time we engage God’s word and what it says about our bodies and how we dress them up.

AND as always – If you have questions about any of the things we cover here, be sure to check out Office Hours and submit your question so we can answer it in an upcoming session.

 

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Posted by on Jul 29, 2021 in Blog | 0 comments

Carrying the Weight of a Sexualized Culture

“And so seated next to my father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, “Father, what is sex sin?”

He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case off the floor and set it on the floor.

“Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?” he said.

I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.

“It’s too heavy,” I said.

“Yes,” he said, “and it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It’s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.”

~ Corrie ten Boom

The Hiding Place: The True Triumphant Story of Corrie ten Boom

 

In her memoir, Corrie ten Boom shares an experience of asking her father about sex after something she had heard at school.  Her father, intentional in his response, taught Corrie that it was not something to be hidden, but it wasn’t the time for her to have that knowledge.  

As Ms. ten Boom continued, she shares that the experience left her feeling “wonderfully at peace.” To know that her dad would carry the weight of things too heavy for her, that he was to be trusted to care for her in that way, brought comfort to her young soul.

Over a hundred years later, and parents are still trying to carry the weight of sexual content that our kids are not yet able to handle.  However, with such a sexually saturated culture, where children’s entertainment is subtly (and sometimes blatantly) filled with “sexiness,” it can feel overwhelmingly heavy! 

Sometimes it feels like it would be easier to bury our heads in the sand, eliminate all technology, and isolate our kids from any outside influence. 

Easier, yes, but not in accordance with Jesus’ commands.  He teaches: “I’m not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one.”  (John 17:15, NLT)

So, how can I protect my kids from the evil one and carry that heaviness until they are ready, when the world has, with scientific precision, figured out how to sell sex and sexiness?  When it feels like smut is flying, full force, in every direction, how can I teach them that sex is actually a very good gift from God?

We move with intention, just as Corrie’s father had done.

First things first, we must be intentional about what we allow into our homes. I hate to break it to you, but “do as I say, not as I do,” is a parenting strategy that is doomed to fail. It doesn’t work with language. It doesn’t work with eating habits. 

It certainly doesn’t work with our approach to sexuality. If we desire to raise families that prioritize holiness, we must set the example in how we use our time and in what media we consume.  

Next, we must be intentional with our interactions with our kids. 

Our time is limited, so we must make the most of brief interactions in daily life. It is important that we recognize (and openly speak of) the sinful perversion of God’s good gifts. 

When an ad comes on tv that is using sex to sell that new perfume or car, changing the channel to protect young minds and eyes is a great first step but don’t stop there. Draw attention to the purpose behind your action. This can open communication and remind our families that there is beauty (not shame) within God’s plans.  

Next time you find yourself in this situation, try something like this: “God made the human body beautiful, but His good plan is that it’s a special gift He wants us to share only with the person we marry.” You may find a shift in the culture of your home as you draw focus back to God’s good plans. 

Finally, we must be intentional to follow through on our word. 

If we promise that we will carry the weight until our kids are ready, we must actually be willing to hand over the knowledge as they grow. In doing so, we will build a relationship of trust that will allow our kids to feel “wonderfully at peace” as we hold onto the weight of the world on their behalf.  

Don’t worry: this handing over of the reins is not a one-and-done process! (None of the conversations around sex are!) It should be a series of conversations in which we slowly allow our kids to carry what they are ready for, as they are ready. This is our part of the deal when it comes to encouraging a relationship of trust and honesty.

The sexual saturation of our society isn’t going away. And we can’t depend on our churches or schools to teach our children a firm Biblical perspective of sex. (Most churches won’t broach the subject enough to be an authority on it!

It must be an intentional effort on our part as parents to protect our children from the heaviness of a sexually dominated world. We must lead by example. We must speak openly. We must allow them to grow in knowledge as they mature.  

As we move with intention, we will be carrying the weight of the sexualized culture and working toward Jesus’ commands to protect our children from the evil one. It’s a challenge, but the rewards are great! 

If you have questions on how to talk to your children about sex or any other topic that we present here, be sure to check out Office Hours and submit your question so we can answer it in an upcoming session.

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Posted by on Jul 26, 2021 in Blog | 0 comments

Four Strategies for Dealing with Sex and Sexualization

This entire month we’ve been talking about the reality that we live in a very sexualized culture. This is a fact of life whether we are dealing with the workplace, the media, the gym, the mall, and even the church.

And as I’ve said before, this is not something that should come as a complete surprise to anyone. Again, we are sexual beings so as we interact with each other and the world around us, our sexuality is going to be something that’s a part of everyday life.

But, the problem for most of us is not the presence of sex or sexuality, but the over saturation and exploitation of it. 

So then what’s a person to do? How do we deal with this reality in a way that’s healthy and helpful?

As we’ve been pointing out, many of our “strategies” (especially in the church world) for handling this stuff fall on the side of fight, flight and ignore rather than engage. But, these tactics usually prove to be less than helpful, and more often than not lead to shame inducing results.

Here’s the thing…

As a parent and former porn addict myself, I understand the tension we all face trying to live in a sex saturated society. But aversion and suppression are not the answers even though they seem like the safest options.

Here are some simple strategies and/or considerations I would recommend you try employing as you navigate your way through life and all the sexual messaging you will undoubtedly encounter.

  1. Acknowledge and accept without resigning

By now it should be clear, the sexualization of our culture is not going away. We can piss, moan, and stomp our feet about it, but none of that changes the reality of our situation. The truth is all our complaining and combativeness just sends the signal that we are hopelessly out of touch and further emboldens those who want to write off our commentary as the rantings of a crazy person. 

However, accepting reality and resigning to it are two different things.

When we accept reality but then do what we can to remediate the challenges we encounter through drawing wise boundaries, promoting thoughtful engagement, and advancing meaningful conversation, we grow as individuals and lessen the negative impact of our sexualized culture.

But when we resign ourselves to it and just throw up our hands in disgust as we wave the white flag we pave the way for more of the same. At the end of the day, “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” is a sucker’s mindset.

  1. Don’t condemn or condone.

Again, when it comes to the topic of sex and sexuality many people (especially in the church) think and dialogue in very extreme terms.

Often it’s either…

I don’t agree with you, so I’m going to condemn you into seeing things my way. 

Or… 

Hey, it’s all good. No need to talk this through. You do you, and I’ll applaud you for it.

When talking to my kids I am always very clear on the fact that they shouldn’t condemn or criticize their friend’s choices, even though they may be extremely poor. But, I also tell them that they don’t need to affirm those choices either. Rather, look for opportunities to ask questions and engage in conversations that will get their friends thinking.

The message you want to send is…

  1. I love you.
  2. I support you.
  3. That doesn’t mean I agree with you.
  4. And I’m letting you know this because I love you 🙂

When it comes to topics like sexuality you’ll get a lot farther building bridges instead of burning them. But that doesn’t mean you have to move across the bridge and set up camp.

  1. Talk, talk, and talk some more.

Yea, I’m not going to stop beating in this drum any time soon. The best thing we can do when it comes to sex, porn, masturbation, and sexual exploitation is welcome thoughtful conversations concerning these matters.

This applies to your church, your small groups, your workplace, your accountability relationships, and your kids.

Ignoring questions revolving around sex and sexuality never helps anyone. 

When a parent asks me what’s the best thing they can do to “protect” their kids from porn I tell them all the same thing… Talk to ‘em. 

Don’t shy away from tough topics because when you do, you send the message that you’re not a safe person to have these conversations with. And so your kids (or whoever) will talk about this stuff elsewhere, usually online.

The truth is almost every guy I’ve ever helped with porn and sex addiction all have one thing in common; there parents never talked to them about sex. 

Coincidence? I think not.

Let’s stop making the same mistake folks.

  1. Recognize that sex is awesome but needs to be handled responsibly.

Over the years so much damage has been done to people because of sexual suppression. 

Somehow many people (again, especially those from a faith background) have grown up believing that sex is kind of a taboo topic and even though it’s ok for marriage, it’s almost shameful to pursue sexual pleasure.

Hear me on this. 

Sex is pleasurable, and it’s pleasurable for a reason – that’s no accident.

But sex was created to enhance and increase marital intimacy, it’s not just something that lives in a vacuum and simply happens to work “better” in a married relationship.

We need to stop treating sex and sexuality like they are dirty words. They aren’t. But when these topics are explored and pursued in an unhealthy way they can create massive problems and even trauma.

It is possible to acknowledge the pleasure and beauty of sex without exploiting or suppressing it.

Case in point…

When I first talked to my son about masturbation I flat out told him that an orgasm feels amazing. I didn’t try to minimize that fact even a little bit. But I also explained how our brains bond with stuff that gives us pleasure and so when we masturbate at a young age for pleasure we create unhealthy patterns and neural pathways that can lead to life destroying addictions down the road.

Someday he might masturbate.
Maybe he won’t?
Chances are he will though. 

And when he does, at least I know he has all the information to make an informed choice, and he knows his Dad is a safe place to go when he may end up making the “wrong” one.

Again, the world we live in is the world we live in. 

And so we can keep pretending and hoping that things will somehow magically get “better,” or we can engage these realities thoughtfully, critically, and lovingly accepting the challenges that come along with that, making the way for increased personal growth. 

The choice is yours.

AND as always – If you have questions about any of the things I covered here, be sure to check out Office Hours and submit your question so we can answer it in an upcoming session.

 

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Posted by on Jul 22, 2021 in Blog | 0 comments

The Church and A Sexualized Culture: Who Influences Who?

She turned away and my eyes refused to leave her pants

They weren’t the type of legwear she slipped into in the morning, but the kind that were painted on with a thin lacquer that accentuated her calves and the gentle swells of her thighs. Nothing was left to the imagination as she paced and turned.

I could tell that each of the guys I was sitting with was thinking the same thing: Those pants are wonderful. Then, as a follow-up, I thought: Is it weird that one of our pastors is wearing them?

We were sitting in the young adult service at the hippest church in Denver, receiving a sermon from this female pastor wearing jeans so tight they made yoga pants look like parachutes. It made me wonder about the entire modesty conversation within the church, but at a much higher level.

I wondered about the influence our sex-saturated culture has had on the church in general. 

Here’s a brief (and overly simplified) history lesson to help us understand. The church was born in Jerusalem in the middle of the first century.

From there, it essentially traveled in all four directions—to the east, Christianity took on a lot of forms of eastern culture. It became mystical and drenched in experiential theology. Even today, the Eastern Orthodox church is less concerned with doctrine than they are with the living Presence of Christ. Their services are disorienting and beautiful.

The Word went south, first to Ethiopia, which claims to be the oldest Christian church in the world, saying the Eunuch in Acts 8 planted it himself upon returning home. The African church takes on a lot of spiritual elements and is consistently more supernatural than ours in the west. 

The Northern Orthodox church reflects many of Russia’s traditions, and most of us are familiar with the church in the west, which is reflective of our culture which is focused on philosophy, science, and logic.

The point is, wherever the church goes, it becomes indigenous to the culture in which it exists. 

The struggle, then, is to step outside of our own culture enough to get a more accurate picture of how our culture influences our view of our church. We in America have a highly sexualized culture.

I wonder how many Christians from around the world would have come to that young adult church service and been utterly repulsed by the pastor’s outfit. For many Christians worldwide, it wouldn’t even be a conversation—it would simply be wrong, along the same lines of lying and stealing (For men too, of course. We are just as guilty of getting a pre-sermon pump at the gym or wearing too tight of shirts…or pants).

Because of desensitization in the American culture, we may not even notice how sexualized the church has become. 

I’ve also noticed how Christians are obsessed with talking about sex. Growing up, I always heard the phrase, “Why is no one talking about sex and relationships in the church?” I don’t know what churches they’re going to, because that’s basically all I hear about in church. 

Men need to grow in purity; women need to do x,y, and z…and so on. 

I feel like every other sermon series is about dating, porn, sex, or marriage. 

Could it possibly be that the American church allowed her interests to be formed by the surrounding culture, rather than being the shaping force in our culture? After all, that was the case up until about the time of the Enlightenment.

Nearly all of the most famous pieces of art were created for or by the church. Handel’s Messiah elevated the praises of God to otherworldly choruses, while Michelangelo’s Pieta conveyed through marble the despair of Mary holding her executed Son. 

Since the 1700s though, with the rise of humanism and the Scientific Revolution, the roles have reversed and the Church has become follower more than leader. Culture talks about sex, so we hold a conference in response.

Instead, let’s think about two monks standing on the sidewalk in New York City:

A hooker walks by them in skimpy shorts and a bra. One monk jerks his vision away from her and looks the other way. A moment later he looks at his friend, who is still staring at the woman, and rebukes him.

“Brother! Why are you looking at something so unclean!?”

He sees a tear in his friend’s eye as he continues staring at the prostitute. 

Which monk was purer? Perhaps both responded appropriately, but the monk with the more Godly vision was the one who could look at the woman, see through the sexy attire, and see a little, wounded girl instead. He could see someone hurting, looking for love, and in need of grace.

The church typically falls into two camps: embrace the cultural flow and adapt (attractive pastors in skinny jeans jumping around in fog machines), or plug our ears and avert our eyes. We can bury our heads in the sand and effectively bury our witness to the world.

As long as we dwell in either of these camps, we are playing by the rules of the world. We are conceding that they have the arena and we’ll play within their bounds. 

What if we could look at the Sports Illustrated cover and see a woman made in the image of God, rather than a sexy object…or a BAD person? This would be a truly revolutionary approach to the sexual conversation—humanizing people.

The world, for all its talk of sexual liberation, still treats that model more like a sexual object than a person. And if we simply bounce our vision away from her, we do too.

So there must be a third option.

What if we learned how to baptize our vision, treating all humans with dignity, not being distracted by the big, flashy, sexy labels slapped all over our culture? 

What if, instead of ‘bouncing our eyes,’ we were able to instead ‘baptize our eyes’? What if we could be like Jesus, who did spend ample time with prostitutes, but never saw them as sex objects, but humans?

This, in my opinion, is one of the most revolutionary aspects of Jesus’ teaching: not that certain people are bad and others are good, but that we are all broken and in need of love and acceptance. 

I believe the church can take after its leader, who re-humanized those who had their humanity stripped from them. Whether it was a demon-possessed man slicing his skin in the tombs or a woman caught in the act of adultery, Jesus seems to take great pleasure in seeing them as they are—as bearers of the imago Dei—and restoring their dignity to them. 

Let’s baptize our vision and attempt to see humanity as God does: not as overly-sexual, nor as asexual, but as fellow struggling, tempted, wounded humans who matter a whole lot to God. This is a truly revolutionary approach to sex that the church can pioneer, if only we try. 

As we’ve mentioned before, we want to hear from you about these difficult topics. If you have questions about any of the things we covered here, be sure to check out Office Hours and submit your question so we can answer it in an upcoming session.

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