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Posted by on May 22, 2017 in dating, Uncategorized | 0 comments

The Health Benefits of Owning a Dog

I have always liked dogs, and since I now only work part time at https://charlotteaction.org/belvedere-escorts Belvedere escorts, I decided to get myself a little dog. I pooped down to the Battersea Dogs and Cat Home, and soon find the perfect dog for me. It is a small terrier cross and it only weighs about 5 kilos. Despite its size, it has lots of energy and is always running about. I love it and we have started to have a lot of fun together. It would be great to have another dog, but this is all that I can handle for the time being.

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Dogs are really good for you as well. I used to spend a small fortune on going to the gym, but now I have canceled my gym membership. It did not take me very long to cancel my gym membership as I quickly became convinced that it was the right thing to do. I was walking so much with my little dog and I soon noticed that it really helped to tone my legs. My legs have always looked great in my Belvedere escorts stilettos, but now they look even better.

Did you know that dogs can help to lower your blood pressure as well? I am sure that you did not know that dogs can help or reduce you blood pressure. At first scientists thought it had to do with you taking your dogs for walks. Well, that is part of it, but dog owners also suffer less from stress. That is something that I have noticed myself and I will have to say that I feel a lot more relaxed since getting my dog. Now when I have a problem at Belvedere escorts, I worry less about it.

For some strange reason, dog owners eat healthier as well. As a matter of fact, I have noticed that I have started to eat a lot healthier since getting my dog. I buy him a really good quality biscuit and I even cook for him. Before I had a dog, I never used to cook for myself that much, but now I do it all of the time. I often cook things like low fat chicken and I steam salmon as well. The girls at Belvedere escorts laugh at me when I say that I share my meals with my dogs but it is true.

If you are thinking about getting a dog, it is important to make sure that you get the right dog for you. I decided on a small dog as I only live in a small apartment. My apartment is on the ground floor so I can easily let me dog out if he needs to go out. He is a very healthy dog, and sometimes I do take him with me to Belvedere escorts. He tends to stay in his basket in the kitchen when I work, but there are a couple of gents who he really likes. There is this gent in particular he likes, and I have to admit that I like him as well. You meet so many nice people when you own a dog.

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Posted by on May 8, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

Can I Take Sexy Photos of Myself for My Husband?

xxxchurch - Can I Take Sexy Photos of Myself for My Husband-You’re wondering if taking those risky photos for your husband is okay during his recovery from porn or if it will trigger him to use again. I get it. It sounds innocent enough.

I mean, it is photos of yourself for your spouse.

Technically speaking, you are staying in the lines of what should be accepted into a marital sex life. But, there are some reasons it may be a no go.

Here are a few of thoughts to ponder through before doing a boudoir shoot or something else of that nature:

1. What are YOUR motives in having these photos done?

I know that may seem like the answer is simple, but it’s not. When I was in the midst of my husband’s addiction to pornography, I thought that maybe having sexy photos done of myself would curb his appetite for other forms of pornography. It did none of that.

In fact, he continued to look at porn AND my pictures to find his pleasurable result. I just contributed to him looking at pictures and masturbating to them. When it comes down to it, he said that it felt like I was giving him PERMISSION to continue in the addiction.

Another motive that I had, but just didn’t realize, was so I could feel “as good as” the women in the porn he liked. Pretty twisted, right? Think about it: when our husband’s look at pornography, it makes us feel less than. We feel like we don’t measure up somehow. This is not the truth in any way, shape or form. Our husband’s pornography addiction truly has NOTHING to do with us.

Yet, we still feel unworthy at first. So, in my entangled web of thoughts, I figured that I could prove to him and myself that I do measure up through giving him what I thought he needed. That idea backfired and only left me feeling used.

346x396-recover-inline2You may have not even thought about what the photos could do to you and YOUR recovery. Taking the photos, and then seeing the pleasure that your husband would undoubtedly get from them, could cause some triggers of your own. I know that it set off all the internal triggers of not feeling good enough, having no worth, being a sex object, being a less than wife and reliving all of my husband’s actions.

If those motives sound familiar, you probably should not be taking boudoir photos. Don’t go backward in your recovery. Go forward.

2. Pornography addiction is just that: ADDICTION. With any addiction, there is a cycle.

According to Rob Weiss, LCSW on January 20, 2015, in Sex Addiction Expert Blogs, pornography, and sex addiction cycles look like this: Triggers – Fantasy – Ritualization – Behavior- Numbing – Despair-Triggers.

This means that there are triggers which begin a behavior that leads to the end pleasurable result that leads to despair which starts the cycle all over again. If your hubby is struggling or has struggled with pornography this cycle is true for him. Addictive behavior has triggers. Some of those triggers could simply be “sexy” photos.

While the photos would be of you, the photos could still cause the addictive behavior cycle because they could very well be a trigger. If you are anything like me, the last thing you want to do is possibly trigger your husband to use again. Be an advocate for HIS recovery, not a stumbling block.

3. Lastly, when having Boudoir photos done, it possesses the questions of who is taking them, how are they being stored and where (if you are) are you getting prints?

If anyone other than your husband is taking the photos, you are allowing someone to see you in a way that is reserved for only your husband. In this day and age of technology, if you are storing the photos on any device, that leaves the door open to your photos accidentally making it onto the internet. If you are having the photos printed, who is printing them?

If you are printing them anywhere outside of your home, you are again allowing other people to see you in a way that only your husband should. If you are printing them at home and storing the physical photos at home, what actions are you taking to ensure your children (or anyone that is not your husband) will not get a hold of them?

All of the actual steps to have the photos need to be thought through thoroughly.

Bottom line here: While there may be some gray areas, if you are looking to spice things up in the bedroom, try to always do it in the flesh together.

Buy some nice lingerie and wear it in person for your husband. Start having conversations about your sex life with each other. Open up the door to honesty and deep conversation.

Instead of spicing it up through actively condoning masturbation, start creating some real intimacy. Real intimacy will make your marriage better! Build up a deeper, genuine relationship. Taking pictures can never compare to the REAL thing.

The post Can I Take Sexy Photos of Myself for My Husband? appeared first on XXXchurch.com.

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Posted by on May 1, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn

xxxchurch - 10 Lies Men Believe about Porn (1)Have you ever had thoughts such as, I’m the only one struggling with porn like this, God must be so ashamed of me, or I just have got to get stronger to overcome my addiction or anything like that?

These thoughts are present in almost every case of pornography addiction I’ve seen. 

But do you see the problem? These thoughts are all lies! Worse yet, they keep you from discovering the truth that will set you free. This is why my mission over the past few years has been to help men not only recognize the top ten of these lies, but more importantly, to understand the Truth that counteracts them. (To go deeper on this topic, check out my book, Ten Lies Men Believe About Porn).

Lie #1: My pornography addiction defines who I am.
TRUTH: Only God can define who you are.

The only One who can give you your true identity is God, because He is the One who made you. Furthermore, the moment you trust Christ to redeem you from your sins, all of them—past, present, and future—are removed from you. Which means God no longer defines you by your sin, He defines you as His beloved child. 

Lie #2: I am alone in my struggle with pornography addiction.
TRUTH: You are not the only one who deals with this.

Many men who use porn feel a strong desire to hide it, fearing they are alone in their struggle. The truth is, everyone struggles with something. We’ve all got junk. Once you bring your struggle into the light and trust others to come alongside you in it, the temptation begins to lose its power over you.

Lie #3: My pornography addiction is about fulfilling my sexual desires.
TRUTH: Pornography addiction results from the attempt to receive intimacy without risking rejection.

Many men fear they will be rejected if people discover the truth about them, so they hide their flaws and pretend to be who they think others want them to be. Deep down though, they know they’re bluffing. This is where pornography becomes so tempting. It offers men a way to satisfy their desire for intimacy without the risk of being exposed as the fraud they fear themselves to be. In reality though, the shame that comes from using porn fuels their isolation and drives them farther away from the true intimacy they are searching for.

Lie #4: I can compensate for my pornography addiction by doing enough good in other areas of my life.
TRUTH: None of us will ever be good enough to earn our own way into Heaven.

Many men view the Bible as a checklist outlining how to earn your ticket to Heaven. But God didn’t give you these rules to show you how to earn your own way. He gave them to you to show you that you can’t earn your own way. Once you recognize how you could never do enough good to compensate for the bad things you’ve done, that’s when you’re ready to discover how good the news of the Gospel truly is.

Lie #5: My pornography addiction separates me from God’s love.
TRUTH: Your sin can never separate you from God’s unconditional love.

God will never, ever pull away from you regardless of what you’ve done in your life. His love for you is unconditional—which means your behavior has nothing to do with it. Furthermore, trusting His love frees you to trust Him as a compassionate Father rather than fearing Him as an angry judge. This is the beautiful gift of His Grace—and it’s the only thing strong enough to set you free from the shame that fuels addiction.

Lie #6: I’m strong enough to control my pornography addiction on my own.
TRUTH: In order to find true freedom, you must give up on your own ability to control your sin.

God wants to set you free from your addiction, but He leaves it up to you to decide when you’re ready to release it to Him. Doing so isn’t easy though, as it requires facing the full depths of your sin, including the pain you have caused others. It’s for this reason that many men will only consider asking for His help after they’ve tried every other option to fix things on their own. The longer you wait though, the harder it can become.

Lie #7: Jesus can set others free from pornography addiction, but not me.
TRUTH: If you believe Jesus is Lord, you can trust that everything He promises is true, even for you and your situation.

If you’re trying to overcome your struggle with porn in ways that contradict the truth of Scripture (fighting in isolation, hiding your sin, striving to fix yourself), you won’t find freedom. This isn’t because the Gospel isn’t true, it’s because you aren’t following the path God provided. You are trying to do it your own way. Please understand though, this isn’t a behavior issue; it’s a trust issue. Trusting Jesus with your entire life (faith) is the only way to experience the freedom promised in the Gospel.

Lie #8: Holding on to unforgiveness has no effect on my pornography addiction.
TRUTH: Unforgiveness is one of the most common ways to allow spiritual bondage back into your life.

Nothing will keep you trapped in bondage more than unforgiveness—even if the offense against you has nothing to do with your pornography struggle. Unforgiveness pulls your mind away from God and keeps your focus on the injustices committed against you. If you don’t release them, your bitterness will allow bondage to creep back into your heart, robbing you of the freedom you have been seeking through recovery. 

Lie #9: I must shut down my desires if I want to be free from pornography.
TRUTH: God doesn’t want you to shut down your desires. He wants to redeem them for His good and purpose.

Men often attempt to ignore or overcome their desires in an attempt to control their struggle with porn, but that leaves them jaded, frustrated, and disillusioned at best. God never meant for you to disengage your desires though! Once you begin to understand the truth about who God is, how much He loves you, and how desirable a life with Him truly is, your desires will automatically shift further away from porn and move closer towards what is Holy.

Lie #10: God can no longer use me because of my pornography addiction.
TRUTH: God uses broken people to do amazing things for His kingdom, regardless of their past.

God still has a plan for your life, no matter what you’ve done. In fact, God can even redeem the bad things in your life to equip you for whatever calling He has for you. Look at how God has used my 20-year struggle with pornography to help countless men find freedom from their own struggles with addiction. In the same way, if you whole-heartedly seek after God, He will use you in amazing ways. 

Once you learn the truth and believe what the Bible says about each of these lies, they lose their power over you. My own life has been completely changed through these truths, and I believe the same can happen for you as well.

You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” –  JOHN 8:32

 

 

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Posted by on Apr 28, 2017 in dating, Uncategorized |

Fell in love online

 

I must be one of the luckiest London in the world. Unlike so many other girls at https://charlotteaction.org, I don’t have a problem holding down a relationship at all. Believe it or not, I actually fell in love online and we get on so great. We are both really into Second Life online. I know it is game and not real life, but there is something which makes it seem really real to me. The persona I am in love with is a member of the online gaming community, and we seem to have so much in common.

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Yes, I know that he is not really real, but to me he seems real. To be honest, I don’t really care that my friends at London think that I am a bit crazy. At the end of the day I think that we are all characters in a game. It does not matter if it is in cyberspace or on in the real world. I have actually met some nice people in real life, but I have met some nicer people in cyber space.

 

I keep on wondering how many other people feel like me. Most of the girls are not into Second Life at all, but I do a couple of male London who are into Second Life. Sometimes we meet up in cyberspace and have a chat. It is interesting to note how some of their personality is reflected in their Second Life characters. I do actually put a lot of effort into my Second Life character as well. It is kind of neat to think that this cyber person is partially me.

 

Why did I get addicted to Second Life? I do like to go out and socialize after I finish my shift at London. But, at the same time, there is a very private side to me as well. It is nice to check out on real life from time to time, and do something different. That is the way that I look at Second Life. I am in privacy of my own home, and I get a chance to be myself. Well, I am not really myself online, but I am a character which is rather similar to me.

 

I have told a couple of gents about Second Life and they have promised to check it out. One of them has joined up, and we have had a couple of dates in Second Life. It was a really cool experience. Of course, when I date my gents from London on Second Life, I am a different character. At the moment, I have go three characters going but I am thinking about establishing a fourth characters. She will be a wicked dominatrix who dresses up as a troll. I keep on wondering if somebody would get turned on by my troll dominatrix. They certainly seem to enjoy the characters that I have created so far, and I have this feeling that they, my gents, would like my new character.

 

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Posted by on Apr 17, 2017 in Blog | 0 comments

5 Steps for Finding Freedom from Porn and Masturbation

xxxchurch - 5 Steps for Finding Freedom from Porn and MasturbationLife would be so much easier if there were a big ole ‘recover from porn and masturbation addiction’ button lying around, wouldn’t it? I know given the chance, many of us would hit that baby so hard it would crush under our enthusiasm. Or maybe frustration is a better word…

But alas, if it exists, it remains a mystery! That’s what brings you here. But, I bring good news, my friend! There is in fact, a big, red button! …It just looks a little different than you may have imagined.

Instead of slamming down on a shiny hunk of plastic, all you’ve got to do is be a STARR:

See you’re not alone,
Tell someone,
Get Accountable,
Recognise pain,
Restore intimacy.

These are five simple statements that will lead you into finding freedom from porn and masturbation. Let’s zoom in on what they mean.

1. See You’re Not Alone

The biggest lie addiction feeds you is ‘you are alone! If anyone knew, they’d be disgusted!’

Not true.

Check out the stats. Chances are, someone (well, a lot of someone’s) in your life, and in your church are struggling too.

Women are especially vulnerable to this lie. They can feel drained of their femininity and balk in the face of struggling with ‘a guy’s issue.’ But remember, one in three visitors to adult websites are female, and between thirteen and twenty percent of Christian women consider themselves addicted! You are far from alone.

This ministry wouldn’t exist if you were the only man or woman struggling. But here we are. Let that sink in.

2. Tell someone:

The Bible refers to Satan as the ‘Father of Lies.’ He works best in the dark where there is no one to rebuke him. When you confess your struggle, you shed light on that dark place and open a space where truth can be spoken! When you tell someone and are accepted, it flies right in the face of the lie ‘You are not worth loving’. It is a taste of the grace of God.

If it were possible to get free on your own, you wouldn’t be here, would you?

Recovery is a team effort. As Craig Gross says, a good story requires more than one character!’

3. Get Accountable:

You need someone on the outside to speak clarity. Your brain is on autopilot, so you need someone to remind you, ‘You don’t actually want this, remember?!’ in those clouded moments of lust. This means having someone you can text or call at any time (even those crazy hours of the morning) when temptation strikes, meeting regularly (over coffee, Skype or phone) to share victories and struggles, using accountability software or joining a group. Accountability means brutal honesty and vulnerability. But it also means freedom.

4. Recognize Pain:

Sexual addiction is an intimacy disorder. Think of yourself as a tree. The fruit is the behavior you exhibit. But apples don’t just grow out of nothing, do they? Their life-force is in the roots. Those who fight sexual compulsion often have their roots in trauma, abuse, abandonment or some other form of ruptured intimacy. Healing comes when you recognize those hidden triggers. It can help to delve into these issues with a mentor, counselor or recovery group. Without dealing with the root, you’ll never heal the fruit.

5. Restore Intimacy:

Recovering from addiction isn’t about cutting something out of your life. It’s about adding to it!

This addition is threefold: With yourself, your community and your God.

Self-intimacy isn’t as inappropriate as it sounds! This means self-love and self-care. When was the last time you believed you deserved to be pampered? Be gentle on yourself, nourish your soul and allow yourself a treat!

Community is vital because shame is isolating. It stops you from engaging with the world like you used to. Community is a healing way to re-enter reality. Enjoy sports, hobbies, activities, church or just having semi-regular coffee with some friends. They will start breathing freedom and hope into your lungs.

Of course, true and lasting intimacy is with God. He knows every image and temptation you’ve faced. And he likes you. He enjoys you! Connect with him however you can, whether that means swearing, running, singing badly, reading theology books or sitting on a beach with him in silence. He longs to come near and hold your heart.

The Bible talks about shining like stars; I’ll bet my hermeneutics are off, but you’ll sure as heck start shining when you use this process of being a STARR. That big, red ‘recovery’ button may not be as far off as you think. Get to it.

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