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Posted by on Mar 25, 2019 in Blog | 0 comments

How Can I Manage My Addiction?

Hey, it’s Craig again. The question we’re asking this week is, “How can I manage my addiction to porn?

You know, I don’t write these questions, and I’d definitely want to reword this one. The idea of managing an addiction just doesn’t make sense to me. 

You can’t “manage” an addiction. It’s unmanageable.

One of the ways you can tell you’re addicted to anything is it that you can’t stop. Or, you’re doing something more than you did previously. Or, you can’t do it less.

You can’t manage something you can’t control. Good luck with that. 

Maybe you have people around you – your friends or your spouse, perhaps – who want to support you. People who want to help you make what is unmanageable, manageable.

That’s all well and good – kind and noble, even – but the truth remains the same: you don’t manage your addiction. Your addiction manages you.

Addiction robs you. It only cares about chasing the high. You don’t manage it, and it could follow you until the day you die if you don’t make a change.

So, what can you do if you are addicted? 

First of all, you’re not a lost cause, and moving past the prison is possible. As for our part in the process, we’re excited to share our newly updated series, My Pilgrimage 2.0, which we’re launching this week. I’d dare say that My Pilgrimage is one of the best resources we’ve ever released as a ministry, and some of the biggest breakthroughs people have ever experienced have happened as a result of this experience.

Maybe the real story is not about your porn addiction at all. Maybe your addiction is actually telling you something. Something about a bigger story – a deeper root – that is yet to be seen in your life.

Let us help you break free. Watch the FREE videos from My Pilgrimage 2.0 and start your journey to real freedom from addiction instead of just trying to manage it.

 

MY FAVORITE QUOTES FROM THIS PODCAST EPISODE

  • The idea of managing an addiction just doesn’t make sense to me. You can’t manage an addiction. It’s unmanageable.
  • Addiction robs you of everything. It only cares about chasing the high.
  • To those of you who are trying to manage porn or sex addiction: it is unmanageable and – if that’s the mentality you continue to move forward with – it is also not going anywhere anytime soon.
  • You don’t manage your addiction. Your addiction manages you.
  • Want to discern whether or not you’re struggling with an addiction? Can you stop? Can you say no? Can you make that “no” permanent?
  • Maybe none of this is actually about the addiction… maybe it’s about a deeper root – a pain beneath the surface, waiting to be uncovered (and healed).
  • Are you willing to do the work? Or do you actually want to stay in this position where this addiction has you? Be honest with yourself, because if you stay here, it will come to have every part of you. That’s a scary spot to be in.

 

LISTEN TO THE AUDIO

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Posted by on Mar 18, 2019 in Blog | 0 comments

Why Does It Matter if I’m Addicted?

Hey, it’s Craig here, and the question this week…? Honestly, it kinda hurts.

“Why does it even matter if I’m an addict?”

Questions flood my inbox every week. I’ve seen them all. But this question rattled me more than others. It sounds like defeat. Like the question of a man or woman who has tried to quit, and given up.

Why does it matter? The fact that you’re addicted to something – and I think we would all agree – isn’t healthy. It’s not feeding your soul. It’s not bringing you life.

It’s certainly not doing you any favors in the bedroom. It’s not helping you satisfy your spouse. It’s not transforming your mind. It’s not serving your relationship with God. It’s not boosting your confidence. It’s not helping you see the things that God has uniquely gifted you for.

I think you’re in a situation where you go, “Man, I don’t want to keep living this way… but I’m tired of trying and failing to change…”

So the question, to me, sounds like defeat. Like, “I can’t change it (and so, I won’t be trying any longer).”

Does it matter? Yeah, I think it matters a lot. It matters enough for me to stick with this job for almost 20 years. I know it matters because I know that people matter. I know that whoever you are – asking this question on the other side of a computer screen – you matter. I know you’re asking because you need help. And we are here to help.

I would just challenge you: if you’re that in the dumps – if you’re that defeated – to know that it does matter because you do matter. And the Lord is with you. In and through the despair. He is a God of endless chances. He strength is made perfect in your weakness, and he loves you unto (literal) death.

As for our part, at the end of this month, we’re relaunching My Pilgrimage – the single best resource we’ve ever put out. 

We’ve seen such incredible transformation in people’s lives through this program. They’re willing to talk about it. They’re willing to learn. Willing to lead. They’re willing to be vocal about it saying, “Man, this didn’t just help me find freedom from my porn addiction… this changed my whole life.”

We’re really excited for you to check it out.

 

MY FAVORITE QUOTES FROM THIS PODCAST EPISODE

  • Why does it matter? The fact that you’re addicted to something – and I think we would all agree – isn’t healthy. It’s not feeding your soul. It’s not bringing you life.
  • It’s certainly not doing you any favors in the bedroom. It’s not helping you satisfy your spouse. It’s not transforming your mind. It’s not serving your relationship with God. It’s not boosting your confidence. It’s not helping you see the things that God has uniquely gifted you for.
  • The mind is a powerful thing, and when porn is circling through it, I think it’s detrimental to our relationships with your spouses, how we see women, and how we see sex, in general.

 

LISTEN TO THE AUDIO

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Posted by on Mar 11, 2019 in Blog | 0 comments

Will Marriage Solve My Porn Use?

Hey, it’s Craig here. The question this week, “Will marriage solve my porn problem?”

Nope. 

I’ve been doing this a long time, and that’s one thing I know for sure. A lot of single people think, “I struggle with porn because I can’t have sex.”

If you’ve been trying to stay a virgin before you’re married or trying to stay sexually pure, marriage will not solve your porn problem. Marriage will just complicate things. If you struggle with porn, you will struggle with porn whether you’re married or not.

Church folks never talk about sex. So for a lot of newlyweds, the red light has been on for so long and now it’s a green light. But just because you can have sex doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.

Sex is so much harder than porn because it takes two real people connecting on an emotional, physical, and spiritual level. Porn only requires an Internet connection. 

The porn addiction you’re bring into your marriage is going to affect you and your future spouse in bigger ways than you even know.

So if you’re dating or engaged, be honest with them. Don’t hide it from them because you feel bad about it, they deserve to know.

Quit hiding this. Don’t think porn hasn’t had an effect on you, it has affected you and I think it’s time for you to come out and talk about it and start doing the hard work to be freed from addiction.

At the end of this month, we’re relaunching My Pilgrimage, the single best resource we’ve ever put out. 

I think with My Pilgrimage, we’ve seen such transformation in people’s lives. They’re willing to talk about it. They’re willing to learn, willing to lead a group. They’re willing to be vocal about it saying, “Man, this didn’t just help my porn addict. This changed my whole life.”

We’re really excited for you to check it out.

MY FAVORITE QUOTES FROM THIS PODCAST EPISODE

  • Marriage will not solve your porn problem. Marriage will just complicate things.
  • The things that you were playing with in high school aren’t going to play with you as an adult.
  • If you’re trying to be a virgin when you get married or trying to be sexually pure, porn isn’t helping you be sexually pure. Just because you’re not touching another person doesn’t necessarily mean you’re pure.
  • We’ve been lying to ourselves. “I’m doing so good, I’m a virgin. But I bring in a 10-year addiction to porn and everything I’ve ever seen or read about sex is from a porn video.” Now you get married and, good Lord, I can’t imagine what’s in store on your honeymoon.
  • Sex is so much harder than porn because it takes two real people connecting on an emotional, physical, and spiritual level. Porn only requires an Internet connection.
  • On your honeymoon, you might be looking at porn instead of pursuing her because you don’t even know how to pursue her because you’ve been looking at porn so much.

LISTEN TO THE AUDIO

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Posted by on Mar 4, 2019 in Blog | 0 comments

Is It True Once an Addict, Always an Addict?

Hey guys, in this month’s White Board video you’re going to hear from David and Seth Taylor.

These guys are the creators of our My Pilgrimage program. In it, Seth and David bypass surface conversations about addictions and setbacks, opting instead to dive straight underneath them in order to discover how our struggles originate in the first place. They focused on what is driving porn use – not just the surface issue – and thus far, their approach has resulted in some of the biggest breakthroughs we’ve seen in this ministry!

So, today, we wanted to give you a sneak peek into the new and updated version of My Pilgrimage … My Pilgrimage 2.0.

In this video, Seth and David talk about the myth of “Once an addict, always an addict,” and share how they were able to find real freedom… and not only from porn addiction. This freedom spread out, holistically, into ever aspect of their lives.

Enjoy, and stay tuned for more about My Pilgrimage 2.0 coming up in the near future.

MY FAVORITE QUOTES FROM THIS PODCAST EPISODE

  • I was fed up with spiritual leaders telling me that I was always going to be an addict – no matter what – and that it was just “a part of my suffering” that I must endure for the sake of the cross.
  • I got a point where I finally realized that the understandings I had about Jesus – who he was, what he said and how he approached humanity – had become radically different than the experiences I was having with him.
  • I started to realize that the Spirit is actually real, and that he has the power to heal and transform… It was a journey that blew up everything I thought I knew, and left joy and love in its stead.
  • We were looking to experience God. We did. It’s been an intense, healing journey.
  • Freedom is an individual experience, so freedom becomes a thing that has to be, by definition, relative to you.
  • For me, freedom is an experience. Every day I wake up and I say, “Do I feel free now?”
  • I started asking, “What am I saved from?” Eternity? Damnation? Hell? I’m living my own here, right now, in this addiction that I’m keeping secret.
  • If you believe when Jesus talked about living life more abundantly and you’re not living an abundant life, something you’re doing is not working.
  • Two things are required of you to do this work: curiosity and courage. You need curiosity to ask yourself questions about your belief system, God, your family, and why things are happening. Follow the trail of questions until you get to the root. And courage because along the trail you’ll run into things that are hard and painful. You need the courage to keep going.
  • Be kind to yourself. When you start opening yourself up to change and the pain inside of you, it can be quite difficult. You have to be patient and learn to forgive yourself on this journey.

 

LISTEN TO THE AUDIO

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